1. So I can go to the free Mac workshops in Barcelona (obviously).
2. So when I get pulled over by undercover cops and accused of buying cocaine, I can defend myself.
3. So when I break a glass jar of asparagus in a deserted aisle in the supermercado I can actually tell someone what I've done and not just point, shrug my shoulders, say "perdona" a lot and skulk out of there.
4. So I don't have to rely on the pictures on the front of cleaning products to know what to buy.
5. So, after buying draino (thanks to good picture on bottle) I can read the instructions and not just guess that Bindi's advice to "pour some down the drain, wait for half an hour and rinse" is correct, and then have product turn to concrete and block the drain more than it already was. At least water could actually get down it before. (Are there lessons in how not to take Bindi's advice?)
5, part 2: So I don't have to type draino instructions one by one into a dodgy translation website in an effort to find some way of salvaging the concrete stuck in the drain because I am too scared to tell Meri what I've done on my third day in her house.
6. So I can understand if I'm being picked up - either in a club or on a street corner by a kid on a school excursion (surely not?). Believe me, it's not enough to understand "guapa" and the numbers. While speaking and understanding the numbers is very good for giving out your phone number, it provides little in the way of interesting conversation while actually on the phone.
7. So I can lie about my age (think I may have already mastered this one, mind you.)
8. So when my friend is being mugged I can morph into the devil and yell at the attackers in words they understand.
9. So I can understand all of the menu and not just "go for it" when ordering in a restaurant. (Not all good restaurants have English menus. In fact, the fewer tourists the better in most decent Barcelona eateries - they do their best to drive you out.)
10. So I buy chicken, and not turkey, when I mean to buy chicken at the supermercado.
3 comments:
thank you darling. provided much needed laugh. glad i can laugh at myself, as well as you! what will you do without me for the next six weeks?
i won't have anything to write about in my blog!
This was absolutely hilarious... probably because while reading it I could picture myself back in the US for the first time 10 years ago (yeah, I'm that old!)
Post a Comment